


This Is Growing Up

by foxfire60441



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 18:25:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxfire60441/pseuds/foxfire60441
Summary: I had weird feelings about Finn outing Santana so brutally, especially since his step-brother was also gay. The show never properly addressed it. I always felt they had a deeper history, and were once close friends, which would explain Santana taking his death so hard and breaking down in the choir room. So this fic is my attempt to poorly correct how badly Ryan Murphy, etc handled Santana's storyline.





	This Is Growing Up

They're nineteen when Finn Hudson passes away. Santana is tucked away in her minuscule corner of the loft, headphones on, and certainly NOT ignoring the multiple texts awaiting her response. 

Britt-Britt: Miss u Sanny. Sam was never as good a cuddler as you. Btw I think Lord T misses you too. He's really deep into this gang thing and won't stop smoking again. He's got cigars hidden all over my room. I think having a Cuban makes him feel closer to you even though you're Puerto Rican. : ( : (

Fabgay: Bitch, I know I blew you off before but it's time we really talk about what happened after Schue's non-wedding. I'm not into girls but...anyway call me, Satan.

Puck: Lesbro, I know you hooked up after Mr. S's wedding that didn't happen. Why won't you tell me who she was? I'd tell you, dude. Oh...damn, don't tell me it wasn't my baby mama! Spank Bank here I cum LOL

Dani: Just got off shift. Call me, babe. XOXOXO

Sam: Dude, need you on co-op mode right now...getting my white chocolate ass kicked. Sign in!!

Karofsky: Jamie says hi, and did you steal his Batman boxers on your last visit? We all know you love to butch it up and wear boxers hahaha. 

The Latina picks up her phone and sighs just as the curtain providing her privacy is ripped aside and a positively distraught Rachel Berry launches her little hobbit body at Santana's hotness. "Whoa, Rach, what's going on?" She demands as the diva buries her face into her tan neck, sobbing and snotting all over the place like no one's business. 

"Finn," the small brunette whimpers into Santana's collarbone, and the Latina's about to go off about how he doesn't deserve Rachel before Kurt comes into view, his hands visibly shaking as he stares at his phone in complete shock. 

"Dad just called. Finn's dead," is all Kurt can choke out before he too abandons all pretenses and scrambles into the former cheerleader's embrace. 

So, Bobsey Twin One and Two cry themselves to sleep, dozing on - ironically enough - Santana's twins. She holds them both close to her all night, mind racing, wondering what the hell happened to Finnept. 

The three wake up in an awkward twist of limbs and tear tracks. Rachel is the first to awaken. She cuddles into Santana's side, "It was just an accident."

Kurt rouses himself and rubs his eyes. "Dad said he was on his way home and another car lost control. They just collided." This confirms her worst fear - Finn is actually and truly dead. 

Santana closes her eyes briefly. This isn't the first time she's had to deal with death. Her abuelo died of cancer when she was only eleven. It had been a long, painful illness that she had been too young to truly understand at the time. She had just known that abuelo was too weak to play with her, and instead of smelling like cigars as usual he always had a scent of medicine and sick. Tio Miguel had taken care of him until one day Santana's mami Maribel sat her down and explained Abuelo Lopez passed away. 

Abuelo Lopez dying was the major death in her young life, but Finn's passing is different. Someone Santana's own age, just nineteen, has died. Finn often annoyed her, and he nearly ruined her life - but New Directions was a rag-tag family of misfits, and Santana is devoted to family, even if some of her own shunned her.

They attend the funeral as a unified front - Rachel's hands clutching Santana and Kurt's wearily. After the service, friends approach them to offer condolences. Dani slips in behind the trio, hugging Santana from the rear, causing the Latina to jump in surprise. 

"Hey, babe," Santana murmurs, dropping her hands to cover Dani's fingers that splay across her abs. 

Dani's breath tickles her ear. "You ok?"

Santana considers this for a moment. Is she ok? She's certainly not upset at Rachel-level, but despite what Finn did to her in the past, she still considered him a good friend. "I will be," the Latina answers, turning around in Dani's arms to give her a quick peck. "I'm more worried about Rachel. She just lost her first love." The brunette bites her lip thoughtfully. "And Kurt has lost his brother."

Dani hugs her tighter and places a smooch to her girlfriend's cheek. "You try to act all badass and mean, but you're such a softie, baby. It's obvious you really care about and love your roomies."

Santana scowls silently. It's more than that, much more than the bond the McKinley kids acquired in high school. Finn's dead and there's no going back. She doesn't know how to go forward from here. Suddenly, she's expected to be the pillar of strength for their little New York trio. Just because she and Finn had a volatile relationship. Santana can't take the pressure. The Latina just wants to punch someone. 

She finally breaks at the Glee memorial for Finn. The merry band of misfits have gathered to say goodbye to their friend. Rachel and Kurt are crying like the little bitches they are and suddenly there's Brittany. Brittany, her Santa Claus and unicorn loving ex-girlfriend who's sees nothing but good in this miserable world, is at her side when Santana eventually falls to pieces.

"That asshole," the Latina seethes, straining against the dancer's familiar hug. A sob escapes her lips as her rage grows. "He could have ruined my life, outing me like he did. What a piece of shit Hudson was. Except...he wasn't. He made Berry happy."

Brittany strokes her dark locks tenderly. "I'm here, baby, I'm not going anywhere. Shhh, it's ok."

"I hated him, yet I didn't," Santana admits, burying her face in the dancer's shoulder. "He fucked everything in my life up, and afterwards my abuela hated me, but in the end he was one of the good ones. Finn didn't deserve to die."

"I know, honey," Brittany agrees, resting her chin on the top of her ex's head. "It's ok, Tana."

The Latina pulls away to meet the blonde's gaze, her own eyes wet. "So why did he have to die?" she challenges, clinging tight to the blonde's shoulders. 

"That's just life," Brittany responds, scratching the other girl's scalp with her fingers, feeling her reluctantly relax against her. She continues her petting. "Remember before we met, when you and Finn were BFFs?"

Santana chuckles dryly, thinking back. 

***************************************

Finn and Santana are situated in front of the TV, both parked there by their respective mothers.

"Ewww, gross, they're kissing," the little Latina murmurs, turning away from the screen. At eleven, the best friends feel they're grown-ups who would never want to kiss anyone. 

Finn shrugs. "Eh, I dunno, it doesn't seem that bad. It looks fun."

Santana casts her gaze back to the television. "Maybe. I could like doing that with the new girl," she admits quietly. 

"The Jewish girl? Or the retarded blonde?" Finn shoots back. "Cause I'm pretty sure girls aren't supposed to kiss each other. That's wrong."

A hard punch lands on his shoulder. "Take that back, Hudson. The Pierce girl is totally cute, and I can kiss her if I want to. You're just mad no one wants to kiss you."

Finn puckers his lips and leans toward her playfully. "Who would want to kiss your dirty mouth, Satan? I sure wouldn't. Besides, that little brunette is hot."

The brunette gives him a disgusted shove away from her. "Whatever, asshole." That's their new taboo word they know they're not supposed to use, but after hearing Noah on the playground repeat what his mother had called his father when the man walked out, they were hooked on it and repeated it whenever in an adult-free zone. Besides, the little Latina already knows a plethora of Spanish curse words from her older cousin, so why not add to the collection?

Finn uprights himself where Santana's push nearly knocked him off the couch. "Anyway, kissing girls would make you gay. You can't be a lezzie."

"I'm not!" his friend protests quickly, her face growing hot (thank goodness ethnic people don't blush). Her mind involuntarily flashes to her abuela's disapproving look and hateful words when she found out that Tio Carlos was gay a few months ago. Both the word and memory make her fight off an unexplainable shudder. The booming voice of the priest at the Catholic church abuela often drags her to rings in her ears. "I like boys!"

Finn flicks at her ear to get her attention, causing Santana to swat back at him. "What boy do you like then?"

"Uhhh," Santana racks her brain to think of the most generic, least threatening boy they know. "The Hummel kid."

"Kurt?" Finn confirms, using the remote to turn down the volume of the TV. At Santana's confirmation, he wrinkles his forehead in confusion. "He's kinda girly, isn't he?"

Yes. "No," the brunette girl protests. "He has pretty eyes. I like blue eyes." Like Brittany S. Pierce's, a little voice in the back of her head screams, but she pushes it down. As a distraction Santana relinquishes the remote from his side of the couch and changes the channel. 

Finn observes her a moment. "Hmmm." The friends don't say anything for awhile, quietly watching the baseball game on the screen in front of them. A beefy hand suddenly covers her smaller one. "Hey, I wouldn't be like mad or something if you were a lesbo or whatever. You're still my best friend, even though I don't get it."

Scowling, Santana pushes him away. "Whatever. So, Berry's your new girlfriend, loser?"

Finn rubs the back of his neck; it's his nervous tell. "She's pretty."

"Asshole," Santana scowls. "You'll probably be a virgin forever."

He pushes back against her. "Bitch, you'll be the virgin cause you're so mean."

Her face falls slightly. "Am I that mean?"

Finn scrambles to backtrack, "No, Tana! Look, let's make a deal. When we're sixteen, we'll do that together if either of us is still a virgin."

***************************************

Santana agrees. Five years later she's lost her virginity to Brittany, and as agreed she reluctantly takes Finn's virginity. He treats it as if it's nothing and also lies to his girlfriend Rachel about it. She's heartbroken her once so-called best friend used her and belittled her, especially since she set aside her natural revulsion of the male form for his sake. She slept with Puck a couple of times for reputation when rumors about her being gay (totally true) or frigid ran rampant. However she only slept with Finn because of a years-old vow. Yet Finn played down the experience. She's quietly angry about that, and holds it in until an argument erupts between them over the splitting of the Glee club and a dodgeball game. 

Then Finn exposes her deepest secret to the world. It devastates her, nearly ruins her, and causes some family to disown her. But in the end, Santana also gets the girl, loses her, then gets her back again. 

***************************************

Santana is a good roommate, despite her faults. She consoles Rachel after a pregnancy scare and all her breakups, and plays wing woman for Kurt at the gay bars. When times are tough, they like to huddle together in the living room and make blanket forts while watching the Disney Channel. 

Eventually, Kurt reconnects with Blaine. The girls encourage it, and next thing you know they're engaged. Rachel cries at the proposal while Santana cracks jokes. 

Dani breaks up with Santana for "being absent." Rachel gets angry and wants to kick her "fake Disney ass," but the Latina stops her. 

Brittany calls Rachel and asks to come visit. Rachel is reluctant, but sends her a key.

One day Rachel and Kurt come home to find Santana and Brittany making out on the couch. They yell at them to get a room. Santana replies smartly that she's already got a room. Rachel throws a pillow at her while Kurt runs from the room in anticipation of the carnage to come.

***************************************

Santana stands at the end of the aisle in her white pantsuit, with Rachel and Kurt by her side. Brittany, in a beautiful white gown, walks toward her, guided by her father. Mr. Pierce kisses the blonde's cheek and gives a watery smile. She's trailed by her bridesmaids Quinn and Tina. Mercedes, ordained online, takes both their hands and declares them wife and wife. In a surprise move, Kurt and Blaine get married in the same ceremony. Strangely, the two couples receive cruise vouchers as a wedding gift from Sue Sylvester, of all people. They don't question it. 

As the two couples hold their reception, Santana finds herself in front of the crowd giving an impromptu speech as she holds back tears. "To Finn Hudson," she says simply, brandishing her champagne glass in the air. "He wasn't a perfect person, but I'll always miss him." 

"Cheers!" the wedding party shouts, as Santana locks eyes with Rachel...then Kurt, her best friends, before landing on her wife (wife!) Brittany, a happy smile spreading across her face.


End file.
